Should I get married? Things you should know before getting married

Should I get married? Should we get married? Should I marry him? Should I marry her? When should I tie the knot? What is the best time to get married?

These questions are common place in the minds of a confused singles wanting to, or thinking about getting married to their partners in life. If you are one of them, read on for a practical guide that is going to give you real life insight and help you answer the dreaded questions that are doing rounds in your head 24/7. Let's stay away from cliché things like trust, love, feelings, freedom and other some such that relationship gurus generally dole out. Rather, we focus on real life issues that you should iron out before you get married.

1) You should not get married if - You are not ready to commit to a monogamous relationship

Sounds like a no brainer, doesn't it? As simple and basic as it sounds, married men and women often take the cheating road. Infidelity is a major cause for divorces and breakdown of marriages around the world. If you are not ready to give up all possibilities of a physically or emotionally intimate or sexual relationship with anyone other than your wife or husband, you should not get married.

2) You should not get married if - You are not ready to bare all your secrets and privacy

Yes, the modern and 21^st century concept of marriage talks about partners giving each other time and space to pursue their own interests and miniscule levels of privacy in so called 'alone time'. This might sound like a party-pooper to many readers, but in real life, there is virtually nothing called privacy when it comes to married partners. If you think that you are going to hide your weird habits and past secrets from your partner, give yourself a wakeup call. You may be able to sneak out of the house a few times but how long are you going to continue doing that? The answer to your question, should I get married, is a complete no-no if you think that you do not want to bare you day to day life and routine in front of your partner.

3) You should not get married if - You are not sexually compatible with your partner

Sexual compatibility is one of the pillars on which the institution of marriage functions. Physical pleasure and satisfaction plays a vital role in keeping a relationship going. Dissatisfaction in this regard can lead to you or your partner looking elsewhere for your sexual needs. If you have any doubts about your sexual compatibility with your partner in bed, talk it out and work out a realistic solution to yours or your partner's shortcomings. Get married only when both of you are happy with each other in bed. Yes, there are many non-sexual things you can do in bed, but keep them for after or before you have those steamy sessions as a married couple.

4) You should not get married if - You don't openly believe in the word 'compromise'

As light as the word 'compromise' initially sounds, ask any married person and they will tell you of the million compromises they've made to keep their marriage going. No, we are not talking about miniscule issues like adjusting with sleep habits, eating habits or some such. They are the least of your worries. When you get married, yours and your partner's life will be based on the foundation of the meaning of the word 'compromise'. You will virtually need to tweak each and every aspect of your life and bring about a compromise in your likes, dislikes, emotions, schedules, ideas, principles and feelings to accommodate for that extra person in your life.

5) You should not get married if - You and your partner do not have a combined income to sustain a household

Financial troubles are a major cause for divorces in America and around the world. Don't let it be the cause for yours. As a married couple, you and your partner will look forward to spending on things that make your life comfortable. This is not about both of you going out and splurging on unnecessary things, but living together with someone costs will likely cost more than the frugal living that you've been doing while enjoying singledom.

6) You should not get married if - You hate planning

Wondering why we are talking about planning, something which sounds like a word straight out of management textbooks, while deciding whether you should get married or not? The answer is really simple. Whether you like it or not, as a married couple, you and your partner will inevitably start planning your lives. From little things like saving up for a new car or a vacation to bigger things like when you are going to have a baby, the act of planning is going to come swooping down like a big bad eagle and grab you by the shoulders.

7) You should not get married if - You and your partner have extremely different lifestyles or careers

Note the use of the word 'extreme' before you read further. It is nearly impossible to have a partner with exactly matching lifestyle or career choices as yours. It is okay for two people with very different lifestyles choices, careers or even views about life in general to get married. But issues arise when the differences are really extreme. Some common examples of 'extreme' differences are.

• One partner working on an offshore oil rig on the South American coastline while another working as a globetrotting fashion journalist
• One partner has a high flying career as a fashion model while another has a strict and traditional mindset or a religious outlook that condones such activity
• One partner is a teetotaler while another is an alcoholic and drug addict, refusing to succumb to healthy living

8) You should not get married if - You don't want to be seen with your spouse in public

Most of us will frown and not understand why someone wouldn't want to be seen with their own spouse in public. However, life can often throw those curve balls which can make us think otherwise. "Oh I am embarrassed to be seen in public with such a big loser by my side" or "What will my friends think when they see I've settled down with such a big loser" can be thoughts that cross the minds of estranged couples. Make sure neither you nor your partner have any qualms about being seen in public and being acknowledge as a couple by the society in general, before you get married.

9) You should not get married if – You still want to enjoy being single

After you are married, small things like spending the night at a friend's place or having drunk pals coming over at your home after a big night out, as silly as they sound, won't be so straight forward and possible. There are any advantages of being single. On the flip side, there are many advantages of being married too! But if you think that you still have a few months or years left in you to live like a free bird, give marriage a second thought.

10) You should not get married if - You or your partner have second thoughts

"Oh don't worry. It will all work out" may be the advice given by friends and relatives when you ask them "should I get married?" Realistically and from a practical no-nonsense view point, if you or your partner have any doubts about the foundation of your relationship or whether your marriage will last or not, don't jump into it. Get married only when both of you are on a strong foundation of trust, love and money. Everything else will follow.